Sunday 3 April 2016

Because you're still objectifying me

I am a woman of 168 centimeters in height, and approximently 70 kilos. I have a round face, small jaw, crooked teeth, bad hearing, glasses and hearing aids. I have got a lot of scars and bruises, on the inside and outside.

I have arthritis in my left collarbone, and the sole of my left foot is afflicted with another illness. I've been told my kind of arthritic disease could affect my other joints, causing loss of function. My spine could get affected. I am constantly tired.

I've always been an independent person. I moved away from my childhood hometown the week I graduated from high school, in 2003. I was 19. I got my drivers licence that same week.

I studied for four years in a university, got a magister degree in political science 2007 when I was 23. I then packed my bags and moved 1600 kilometers to the south. I left my whole family and all my friends and started a new life.

I got a job in a government agency at 24, and I've been working for seven years within a very complex system in a position that's kind of tough. I am being told I am an exceptional administrator. I own an apartment. I have two cats. I am turning 32 years old this year, and am thinking about starting an pension savings account. But the pension agency thinks I don't need to yet. I'm thinking of joining a car pool company.

I am a capable, independent woman who knows her own mind. I have opinions on all kinds of matters. My parents call me for advice on all sorts of things, I sometimes feel like I am taking care of them, instead of the other way around. I almost never ask anyone for help, I always try to do things on my own. I like it that way.

Suffice to say, I'm an adult.

Personalitywise, I am a down-to-earth, pragmatical person. I like the quiet life. I don't care for late night parties, make up and I hate skirts and dresses. I am probably one of the least glamorous person you'll ever meet. I'm not really concerned with my appearance and most of the time I'm direct and to-the-point.

I have ambitions.

In my spare time I run an association with some friends, that I started in 2012. I'm currently chairing my second con in Skåne, while simulaniously working on another committée in Uppsala. I'm travelling a lot, Japan, Barcelona, Finland, England, Scotland, Gran Canaria. I'd like to go to the US, and to Scotland, again. I like castles and being out in the nature.

My goal in life is to read as many books as I can, watch great movies and shows, hang out with my friends and have great convention adventures. I'm not in a relationship, and I don't like to date. I love my life and am happy alone.

Why am I telling you this?

Because, all my experiences in life tell me that most guys never seem to care about what kind of person I am.

I am constantly being told I look pretty. I am being told I should be flattered. I am being catcalled. I am being told I should smile more. I am being told I too will meet a nice guy some day. I am being told I would look good in a flowery dress that billows around me. I am being told by strangers that "I have that certain something".

If I meet a guy and am nice to him, he will in most cases take this as encouragement to pursue a relationship (because why else would one want to spend time with me?).

Because, as long as you think I am beautiful, I am worthy of your attention.

Being judged by your looks is degrading. Being an object instead of a person makes one feel slightly unimportant in this world.

And I am important.

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